D3@ThM@5T3R

2011-08-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Twice in three days. That's how much pain you've caused me. but i don't blame you, it's just my plain stupidity for falling into this so deeply. The answers are obvious, and i don't even need to try but i still hold on to this thin line of hope you've given me. I lock my door because i don't want the world to see the state i'm in. I know for sure if i let go now, things will never happen.... forever. I really don't want to let you go just like that, but it really hurts when someone you been noticing for so long doesnt seem to know what you feel inside. Could you sense me dying inside while talking to you? After today, i wont look at you the same way like i did before, not because i don't want to, but probably because i can't. I have been trying really hard to avoid you, to not talk to you because every time i think of you, the thought of you being with someone else just flashes right before my very eyes and i die a little inside. Really. I really try very hard not to think of you, but somehow i can't help it. I have been doing so many things to keep myself occupied. I even stay in school till late at night so i just reach home dead tired and go to bed without thinking. But you still come into my mind. It's really over isn't it? I just lost even without a fight. This feeling of helplessness, this feeling of not letting someone know how you feel and yet you have to be happy when you're in front of her, i hate it!

Maybe its time to stop all these. To look around me at those who really care. I had really wanted to be part of your life, but all i see are just locked doors. I really wish this feeling would just disappear. I will try my best to control my emotions, and i will try my best not to shed another tear for you. After all, twice in three days, don't you think it's too much for me?

PS:Sometimes the strongest people in the morning, are the ones that cry themselves to sleep at night.

D3@ThM@5T3R

2011-08-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

=( When i see you in this mess, it really hurts me. But i just try to be there when you need me. Thats probably the best thing i can do for you. But i wonder to myself why do you do so much for him? Even though he doesn't seem to care about you. You have no idea how much i wish i could be in his shoes, and just appreciate you a little better. When will we finally learn to cherish what we have? When sorry doesn't mean anything anymore? What a bad start for this semester. I just hope this feeling will go away quickly so i can concentrate in school. But anyway, what happens here, will stay here, so i will still smile when i'm in front of you. You might never even know that behind the smile lies so many different emotions but thats just me. I choose to bottle everything up and not talk to anyone about it. Because i'm really tired.. of facing this situation over and over again and knowing what the outcome will be. Besides, things probably wouldn't work out i guess. But seeing so many things happen around me, I really do wanna experience that glimpse of love. Just a little. I want to experience how something so small can make your day and nothing big is able to spoil it. I tell myself all the time that everything happens for a reason and what was meant to be, will be. So i'm still waiting~ Because i know that when my time comes, i will really appreciate everything and not take things for granted.

PS: The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you, knowing you mean nothing to them.

D3@ThM@5T3R

2011-04-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

Hate it when my parents say something and go off to do another. And i waited like a fool at home when i could return to hall and work on my presentation. Now im hungry and pissed. Bleah fml

2011-04-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm the quiet type, the type who chooses to bottle everything up, the type who keeps quiet and keeps all the anger inside within. I'm the type that controls my emotions, that puts on a fake smile even in the darkest hour just so that no one else will be affected by me, my thoughts and my actions.

Yet when it comes to confessions, i'm also the type that keeps my feelings inside. That treasures every small and single moment i spend with that special someone. That smiles secretly when she smiles, and dies inside when she's upset. Probably because of my nature, i find it hard to share with someone else how i feel. I need to feel comfortable before i share my secrets, yet sometimes when i try to, i get shut off before i even got a chance to say out how i feel. It's not that i don't want to share anything, and it's just that i never got the chance to do so. I really want to share this feeling, but perhaps this abandoned blog is the only place where i can share my thoughts and feelings cos it will just listen and not walk away or turn it's back on me. It's my nature that i'm this way, so please don't mind me =(

I'm sorry for my nature, but please don't hate me for who i am...

D3@ThM@5T3R

2011-04-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and tired of trying so bleah, i give up.

3 weeks before final papers and this comes. Of all the times, why now? Told myself many times i would focus on my studies and nothing else. Seen how it breaks so many people down so hard and drives the sanity out of them. Why do i want to be part of this? why? why......

I cant be natural anymore. I can't be myself. It just wont happen. But i will try. Just let me be. I will shake it off somehow. I think too much, and i don't wanna think anymore. I just want a good night's sleep to wake up and forget it all. I'm losing myself. I lost motivation. Is this really me? Is this my maximum ability? What happened to the guy with the aura? It's all gone now.

Glad this place is abandoned and i can just post here~ Welcome back my dark little world.

D3@ThM@5T3R

2010-03-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

Ter is emo and lonely...... I should be happy with such a decent life but, bleah.. matters of the heart are just sooo complicated. I wish i could just break down and cry.

Times like this i just hate my own existance..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2010-02-11T17:37:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~!

21st bday!! And Ter is still single. Arghhhhhhhhhhh!! Well i didn't get my main b'day wish, but hey, dad and mom gave me a super big surprise! I actually got a car for my bday o.o haha i must be super lucky huh? How many kids in the world gets a car for their 21st bday. And Head Nurse wants to be my part-time GF O.O But nahss.. i said no cos she is attached!! I'm not that desperate okay =p

Now i can travel freely and say byebye to public transport.. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~ I wonder how many people actually remembered its Ter's 21st? o.o Lazy to hold a party or whatsoever cos i HATE PLANNING!

PS: Year of 201OrD LoH!!!! =D

Happy Bday D3@ThM@5T3R

2010-01-29T03:09:00.000-08:00

What a weird timing to blog.. but hey i can't sleep so yeah. It's that time of the year again, when i know my luck is REAL bad.. Sigh~ Anyway, i Pulled out 4 of my wisdom teeth and im on 8days MC! Yay! Can't wait to have the stitches removed so i can finally chew on solid food again. Meanwhile, im peeing alot cos i can only take liquid food o.o

2 weeks or so till my 21st Bday and i havent really thought about how i should celebrate it yet. No one special to celebrate with =/ Probably just end up going out to eat somewhere nice thats all.. But what i really want is just to sit down and enjoy a meal with Maril~ Tried asking but i guess she's busy on that day. i don't mind paying for her meal either. No strings attached. I guess i just miss her after all this while. But why would some1 attached spend time with Ter even though it's his 21st bday anyway? Just wanted to see how u are doing thats all~ Hope i get to see u on my bday... =)

Wishlist~ What i want for my 21st bday is just a sincere hug from some1 special and to sit down and eat some Wagyu Beef. Is that too much to ask for? O.o

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-12-27T23:47:00.000-08:00

I guess thats how things have got to end.. We wont even be friends anymore.. I dunno if i saw this coming.. Well, Lou doesnt contact Jas and Andy doesnt contact Clara so yeah.. same fate huh? Now i probably wont get to contact her anymore..

Somehow, i'm not happy at how it lasted.. There were so few happy memories that i can bring back.. Lessons in life, none i guess.. i saw this coming and yet still insisted to have a shot at it. Anyway, it's not that i didn't try to be friends. I told those around me that i wouldn't like u but i still did, i was so desperate i even had to ask others what i should do.. to let them decide my fate. It was really beyond my control anymore. I was so blinded by love that my emotions acted for me instead of my brain. There was no logical reason or explaination, I was just doing things willingly for you.. It was like a puppet state of mind, or more like a voodoo doll.. where i just get pricked by needles after needles feeling the pain within, but unable to shout it out at all.. I'm sorry that i couldn't be a good friend, a close friend.. Even till now i still think of how u are doing. U are probably mad at me, maybe this friendship might not mean much to you but just to let you know, it once meant the world to me.. i really tried very hard to just stay as friends and not like you.. i hope u can believe me.. it's not that i wanna end this friendship, i just dont want to like you any deeper.. i tried so hard that there are times when tears just flow without knowing why it hurt so much to be a friend.. I tell myself this pain isn't real and it will just go away. I ask myself countless times when will this end and is it finally over? Hopefully this will be the last stab in the heart i will have to take.. It hurts, but it's over right? i really wish this will be the last time i get killed inside..

~Ter walks down this lonely road once again~

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-12-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

She just killed me again..... I even thought of cutting myself to let physical pain take over the emotional pain cos there seemed to be no way to let it out or get rid of it.. Everyone seems to be against me liking you.. it really seemed like what happened to Louis and Andy is happening to me now.. I heard Andy say "You will confirm get yourself hurt" but i chose to ignore that. There are so many things i cant accept about you, yet i still like you, and do things willingly for you. I myself don't know why.. Every time i know something, it just kills me inside. Really, it hurts me alot.. but i do not show it in front of you.. There was even a point of time when i was willing to do anything for you, and i really do mean everything.. sleepless nights, morning calls..etc and till now i still do it for you. I have been called dumb for doing such foolish stuff but i ignore that too. Maybe it's time i start to listen to those around me instead of the voices in my head.. Mei told me "Ter, she is attached.. If u like her still you will only be asking for trouble.. who knows what the guy might do to you? somemore she doesn't seem to take relationships seriously and clubs, how will u ever fall for someone like that?" And all i could reply was just a "i don't know, im just attracted to her".. It's that feeling again.. when u know what the obvious choice to make but u still wont do it.. i know i must give up on her, she already has a bf.. why am i torturing myself so badly?? I wanna get myself drunk, have the near death experience, and fall into eternal slumber.... Will somebody give me a big hug? i really need one now..

Sigh~ I didn't expect my christmas to turn out like this. Hope u guys out there have fun. Merry Christmas to all.

How many painful stabs into my heart must she give me before i can finally break down and cry, only to awaken in a pool of tears and smile to myself, "It's over"?

PS: And i finally start to ask myself, how can i fall for you?

D3@ThM@5T3R died again...

2009-12-22T01:27:00.000-08:00

Happy 20th Birthday to my dear Marilyn~ Hope u enjoy the birthday prezzie i got u.. haha nothing fantastic but hey, its something creative and unique =) Get well soon too.

Went to visit Maril to pass her the bday prezzie and collect a file but she was too sick so i couldnt get to see her and only passed it to her mom. Sometimes i still miss her alot too, really i do.. She's really a very special girl.. Probably the sweetest girl i have ever met in my entire life.. i can still remember clearly every moment of my life i spent with her.. and the things i done, or should i say, the things i thought i had done for her..

I was eating dinner with Andy and Lou at CJ and we were talking about girls and stuff.. Then Andy asked me, "What have u contributed into your relationship?" And he said for him, he spent one night folding 100 hearts for his girlfriend.. Then i think to myself, what have i done? At that point of time, i really felt like a super letdown, a total loser.. after 2yrs of relationship and i have not put in a single contribution into the relationship?? I felt disappointed with myself, and went home to find out what was i really lacking. But as i dug deeper into myself, i actually found the answers i was looking for.. i gave up quite alot of things for her.. things which even made me go against my parents.. haha.. yeah she was that special. But i don't regret what i have done for her, the only regret i have was letting her go.. And i don't blame her for going away cos after all, it was my fault. Im just glad shes leading life happily and has a new bf to make her happy.

Ter is dying inside now and falling into the pit once again.. im currently in this situation whereby im super confused with my own actions and emotions. can someone show me the way please? i really don't wanna take the wrong path again. =(

PS: Marilyn, just to let u know i will always be by ur side as your friend.. I'm really glad i met you. Thanks for all the happy memories and Happy Birthday! =) Take care

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-12-07T04:27:00.000-08:00

7th dec 2009 4.01AM, the day my heart stopped for a minute.. the day i died inside.. First it was Andy, then Louis, and now its Me.. I didn't think it would really happen to me but it did.. I must have been so dumb, to have fallen in love so easily. I asked myself why do i feel jealous? Why? Why do i do all those things without knowing why? i died inside 3 times today.... It was like blow after blow after blow. Yet i held my tears back. i needed to stay strong, or at least show that i was.. The truth hurts, but at least its better then being kept in the dark. I keep quiet because i don't want u to see that im suffering inside. I'm afraid that if i try to say a word, u would see that tear roll down my cheek. I bottle everything up because i dont want my problems to burden you. I will live to tell this story, but living through it is going to be though..i'm really very down now..i want to cry it out but i just cant seem to shed the first tear. I need a hug now.. Alas as i type this, tears start rolling down my cheeks.. have i been too selfish? i should have cared more.. i have changed have i? I'm sorry to all those i hurt.. i was blinded by love. but perhaps now the one being hurt most is myself. i deserve it i guess, for letting my emotions get over me. I realised i havent cried in a while.. At least now u know, u were worth my tears.. I dont wanna let you go but do i have a choice? you have made up ur mind to be with him.. I was prepared to give up everything for you.. i try not to think about u but i cant help it.. it just keeps haunting me. I was driven by false hope and wishful thinkings.. I really hope we can still be friends but i dont know if the inner me will allow it.. I don't want to feel jealous when i see u being attached. I dont want my emotions to get control of me over you.. I want to get drunk, and forget everything, and wake up in the morning as though nothing has happened....

PS: I never even got the chance to express my feelings towards you...............

The day Ter died inside wounded with a bleeding heart.....

2009-11-28T16:36:00.000-08:00

I Like her alot but..i really don't feel safe, there's no sense of security. She's pretty and cute but were we never meant to be together? I Miss my ex sometimes too.. i really wish we could still be friends but that seems so impossible. Will Ter ever get to move on? I need to forget my past.. I want a new future!
I don't know if i should even try going for her. Even if we get together, will i be happy? or will i just bleed inside more and suffer. Too many guys like her, why would she choose Ter anyway right? i have nothing to offer and i cant promise her anything.. sigh~ Times like this i feel so helpless.. I'll just wait and see what happens.

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-11-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

i met Jovin again.... the super cute nurse! well, she came over to Andy's house to watch us play mj.. she seems like a nice girl but im too shy to talk to her. haha.. i havent been talking to girls lately so yeah. and it made me retink about the hassle of going into a relationship. knowing her circle of friends and so much inserurity involed. i hate that feeling. but i must go through that sooner or later again right? i miss being attached.. the companionship, but i don't wanna start all over again. it takes too much effort to build the trust and too much time too. i dont know what i want. probably just some more breathing space, and someone to share this world with me =/

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-11-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

Had MJ with Louis last night and he brought a female friend along.. OMG MAN!!! I THINK I JUST MET AN ANGEL!! She is SUPER CUTE and SUPER friendly.. haha.. the best part is, SHE IS A NURSE AT SGH!!! ARGhhhhHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh..... (One of Ter's favourite fetish) Seriously man!! I don't mind if she is one year older.. o.o Well, halfway through the game, the others got hungry so they went downstairs to cook maggie mee while she stayed upstairs to use facebook on my compy.. and i stayed upstairs with her to flirt a little =p BUT ITS SUPER SHY LA.. i don't dare look at her directly when talking to her =x but oh well, doubt i will ever see her again.. haha.. probably just a fantasy =/ She recently broke up and is SINGLE!! But she has 3 ex before o.o oh yeah, and she's a little wittle vulgar at times. haha~

PS: Today Ter Bear will go UBER COLD TURKEY!! I quit all my fantasies from today~ Jia you~ =)

PS@: Ter is still waiting for the special girl to walk into his life.. how do i tell if she is special and the right one for me?? Honestly, i have no idea but hey, as long as she cares, and i feel something for her, and she walks up to me and says "I think i like you", haha that would be sweet~ But that only happens in fairytales i guess..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-11-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

Wheeeee.... confinement week over~~ And i let my demon wings show a little o.o Hmm.. anyway, i got 90+ days till ORD!! WHOOPEEDOOPEEDO! And it's my bday after that so yeah.. kept thinking what i want for my bday.. lol.. was discussing with the others in camp about trying to get a BJ on my bday =x and they asked me go geylang =/ But oh well, thats just a birthday fantasy =p

Next week ish meh driving RETEST!! ARGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. hope can pass this time! Wish me luck =p

PS: You spin my head right round right round when u go down now when u go down now~~~~ la la la =p
D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-10-20T02:35:00.000-07:00

Okay.... Went to camp for a few hours today to attend some deepavali celebration thingy and i got a good news and bad news!!! Good news is, my next batch of recruits is officially going to be my LAST BATCH of recruits!! YAY!! MY LAST CONFINEMENT!! ZZZzzzz.. oh yeah, this weekend and next weekend kena confined for one last time so don't bother finding me -.-"" Anyway, after my batch of recruits graduate on dec, im probably FREEEEEEEEEEEEEe till feb and earning free salary for shaking my lags at home =p Ain't that sexy news?! =) Now for the bad news, ZOMG THEY BANNED SINGAPORE COMPUTERS FROM ENTERING PORN SITES!!! It was a uber hot topic in camp today man.. LOL!! But yeah, apparantly when i booked in today, the websites that were not accessable were -Tube8,Redtube,Pornhub,Pornfuze, xhamster,spankwire,badjojo,xvideos...etc but starhub users could access spankwire.. NOT FAIR!! But anyway, by the time i got home, everything was banned! DANG! Probably except Youporn but it sucks cos the loading speed is super slow.. Oh btw, I'm only awake at this hour cos i just finish DOTA-ing and not because im trying out which sites still work =x HONEST!

PS: I think they banned it cos people rather watch porn then jio a Singapore girl nowadays o.o They ALWAYS play Hard-To-Get!! =x

PS2: Do u peeps think i watch porn?? HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA =x

2009-10-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Okay.. I went out with Chubs today to eat at Katong Foo House! Thats where her sis works. So yeah, bumped into Duan Duan and Wendy (Her sis's friend). Wendy is like SUPER tiny! haha!! Cute de.. Its almost as if u can carry her home or something.. Lol.. I ate steak and mushrooms and chubs ordered Salmon.. And when there was half a portabello mushroom left, Duan Duan took it into the kitchen to eat it! LOL!! My poor little shroom =(

Then we went to Parkway cos i had to deposit some cash into my bank and i ordered a cup of coffee from Coffee Bean! And then we had an interesting convosation =p

Chubs: Should i pierce another ear hole?
Ter: Pierce lor
Chubs: But Joel (Chub's BF) might not like it.. The last time i pierce my 2nd earhole we had a super long arguement. He say look very Ah Lian.
Ter: EH NO!! u do NOT look like Ah Lian.. Ah Lians are slim and chio =p (I know because i know one =p )
Chubs: Ok fine~~
Ter:Hey, you eat so much, u not scared Joel dowan you anymore and go for a super slim chio bu meh??
Chubs: No la.. U yourself no GF u should be more worried lor.
Ter: I don't need to worry cos my "Tiao Jian" SURE can find one in future de.. CONFIRM ONE! :D so i shall enjoy being single now.
Chubs: Are u STRONGLY AGAINST Incest??
Ter: NO!!!
Chubs: You know what is incest or not? Is like the older bro and sis...
Ter: No!! In fact im not even against it =p
Chubs: Why???
Ter: (And i shall not reveal here what i replied to her) =D

Haaa~ Ok im home now and im SUPER BORED TO THE MAX!! I need to get my driving license man.. *prays frantically*

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-10-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

DIE!! i realise i got 1month of NO DRIVING LESSONS before my test -.-"" I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREWED MAN!!! I wonder if i can even remember anything when my test date comes =p hope so sia..... 1 more month!!! ARGHH

2009-10-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

Luck has been bad for me.. Nothing much has gone well.. =/ Super depressed man.. somemore no driving license.. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.. If not i would be driving to Andy's house for Mahjong later =/

3 days of this month and im down by over 100 bucks! Lol.. but lucks gonna change tonight i hope =p

PS: Give me just a little sign, give me just a little smile, give me just the chance to talk to you.. Because at the end of the day, I will wake up to find that everything is just a dream or a glance into the future, and perhaps then, i will start to cherish what i got......

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-09-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

Sigh~~ Failed my driving test today.. now i got to wait another month before taking another test.. SUPER EMO NOW SIA!! And i was looking forward to driving out tonight for supper in my bro's car =/ Arghhhhhhhhh... want to cry le.. some1 hug me pls =(

I followed another test car and stupidly chiong past the stop line with him without stopping.. GIMME BACK MY FREEDOM!! 1 month and 12 days till another attempt at freedom. =(

2009-08-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

Ok.. im feeling UBER down man.. like seriously.. just moodless.. 2 sunday duties back to back and a duty on the school block leave~ Sighhh.. The only consolation was that last week, i heard my bro having sex with his gf in his room!! LIKE OMG RIGHT?!?!?!?! I was playing my compy outside and i heard something funny.. went closer to his room door and i heard it loud and clear!! I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tempted to barge in and say "oops sry". xD but im a nice lil bro see? =) so i didn't do that.

Im having weird dreams lately.. sweet, but weird.. But it also made me realise that i cant even let go of her in my dreams o.o i need just a little more breathing space.. im suffocating.... with my own emotions..

D3@ThM@5T3R needs help..

2009-08-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. Shared With CY Mahjong at Andy's house last week on National Day.. Ha~ Lost $11 but its fine, i found out something about myself.. I prefer solo play i guess.. though seeing Andy share with Clara seemed like so much fun, but im more of a solo player =/

And then CY confessed to me after the MJ session.. Sigh~ I dont really like making hard decisions.. I'm really still not prepared to go into another relationship.. Or at least, with someone else.. Maybe i still miss her.. but i remember the conversation with grace,
Ter: Nobody wants Ter.. =(
Grace: Maybe because Ter couldn't let go of Maril..
Knocked some senses into me i guess.. and i read a magazine which Pok brought into camp and saw this section about people writing in.. Topic title was "Me and my ex still meet often, is it possible for us to get back together?" And if all u friendly bloggers are curious, the magazine's reply was "NO!!" yeah~ its true.. It said u go out often because u are still friends, but in reality, just go cold turkey. If she really likes you, she will come back.. if nothing has happened, just forget her and move on with life.

6 more months to ORD.. NS has really taken away alot from me.. i want to find back what i have lost.. I want a hug!! =( Will i find someone to love before i ORD? hmmm~~ Current lovelife status is :-*Loveless*- NOBODY WANTS TER! hur hur.. =(

Searching now for a cheap car to purchase! Driving test gonna be on 30sept! ARGHHHHH!!! MY VERY OWN CAR!! Though i havent have any plans yet on what i want a car for but yeah~.. It would be fun to drive around i suppose..

Went for 21km AHM and i got my medal!! Whooopeee~~ Was walking and jogging with Anand and Sim.. haha!! It was a SUPER FUN experience xD

2009-07-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

People pity the girl, but in reality the guy goes on with a bleeding heart~

Where are you? I wanna see u so badly.. I miss you.. I dont mind if things dont turn out the same as before, because i'm sure it will work out fine this time..

Went to the dentist today to clean my teeth! and ZOMG MAN!!! THE DENTIST IS UBER UBER UBER UBER CUTE CUTE CUTE~~~~~ SUPER CHIO TOO MAN See already like heaven liddat.. haha~ Super cute man!! I WANT!!! =x

PS: Im becoming normal once again =)

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-07-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

Im addicted to this adrenaline rush o.o

How can i just love someone else? and forget you completely when i know you still love me. Why can’t we just be like this cause it’s you that i need and nothing else until the end. Who else can ever make me feel the way I feel when I’m with you, no one will ever do. Back to the days when we were so young and wild and free, nothing else matters other than you and me. So tell me why can’t it be? Please let me live my life my way, why do you push me away?

ZOMG JASMINE IS UBER CHIO! Lolz.. Just some random girl i got to know today =p

Hmmm.. Luck isn't on my side lately =( 1 Girl's a charm, 2 Girl's a torture o.o

2009-07-11T11:46:00.000-07:00

Bro has a new GF!! =O lol just found out yesterday night when i saw his dp on msn =x She's been invited to join us for dinner next week! hmm.. i shall just be the quiet bro =)

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.. I also wanna have a gf! i could do with the nice company.. It's nice to know that there is someone who is there to care for you.. And my future gf is already invited to my bday dinner! ha! Mom says i can bring a girl along if she's my girlfriend.. =/

PS: I just want some company..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-07-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

Went out with Maril Today! Well it was fun.. but......... haha never mind.. Anyway, been long since i saw her family so yeah! Went to her house to fit tissue paper into the prezzie! and i saw Auntie and Evan!! Zomg his voice is sexy now.. lol.. but he looks the same!! Same tiny Evan with a different voice =x

PS: Maril still looks pretty =p

PS2: I think im dreaming too much.. i should get on with life o.o any saviours out there that can save me?? or is she the saviour itself?? but how nice if all my dreams came true.... =/

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-07-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

I think i need a hug =(

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-07-03T22:42:00.000-07:00

Okay.. so my mind has really blocked me from thinking of her.. i feel slightly better now.. It's like everytime i try to think of her before i sleep, i can't!! It's so hard to even think of her.. looks like my mind has shut itself down =/ perhaps thats the only way to stop the pain from becoming worse..

PS: Feeling super down now.. =(

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-06-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

To whom it may concern,

I cant forget you.. i still miss you.. yet i don't have the courage to tell you.. or maybe, i can't tell you.. Because certain situations prevent me from doing so... and hence, I'm stuck in this vortex.. everytime i try to fall in love again, i just end up thinking of you and missing you more.. I think i'm okay.. but thats just what i keep telling myself.. I'm happy you're happy.. really, i am.. so i promised myself i will not do anything to take ur happiness away.. even if it means losing my sanity, or my life..

I really have tried very hard to forget you.. but i can't.. it's too difficult.. I even start to have dreams about you.. and the most painful part is waking up from it and realising it's only a dream.. Will i get a second chance? I really regret letting you go.. I should have held on to our relationship.. But i remember my last words i said to you, "I will respect your decision".. Did i do the right thing? I need to move on, but i can't.. Perhaps all i need now is someone to talk to.. To have a good laugh.. or even a good cry..

I'll be waiting for you.. i don't know how long or how much longer i can wait, but i'll wait.. At least it's something to keep my mind off Army life.. =) Hope you stay happy always~~

PS: Knowing you is really the best thing that has happened in my life.. =) All those moments spent, i have never felt so peaceful.. Thank you.. And probably for the last time, i think i still love you..

2009-06-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

And so... im officially screwed~ I have been into direct contact with a H1N1 infected person.. i dunno if im infected with the virus or not .. but im starting to feel weird.. no flu or coughing synthoms though.. But im expecting the worst.. Temperature is currently at 37.2 Degrees. If it shoots up higher i'll probably go see a doc.. Wish me luck~
Toodles~~

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-06-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Wheee.. Went out with somebody today~~ I dunno.. whenever i go out with her, it feels different.. it feels so peaceful.... and i somehow forget everything that bothers or worries me.. just being with her changes me into the Terence which i always wanted to become.. she's probably the only one that has such an impact on me.. thanks for the meeting.. really enjoyed it alot =) and it's nice to see ur smile once again.. Get well from ur flu soon~ Don't work too hard yeah? though i myself am suffering from flu.. sniff sniff~ =(

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-06-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. i feel different.. really.. a weird feeling.. but i still believe im the same Ter everyone knows.. Hope i dont change into a monster.. =/ though i seem to be...

2009-05-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

I dunno what to do.... i feel much better as compared to before but the situation seems to have gone worse.. i wonder am i still the Ter in your eyes..? Or am i insignificant now.. The love is more or less dead now.. I couldn't believe that you have changed.. i even nearly quarrelled with her cos i still wanted to believe u were the one i had always known.. innocent and cheery all the time.. You are probably as lost as i am now.. i start to see a bit change.. More secrets are being kept and more tears being shed, but i still choose to believe u have not changed.. Please tell me i am wrong? I dont want to see a part of you gone just like that.. After all, whenever a part of you is gone, it just takes a part of me along..........

PS: I don't know much about him, but hope you were right about him all these while, he's the one guy which will bring u happiness for eternity.

Lost Soul (D3@ThM@5T3R)

2009-05-25T10:20:00.000-07:00

No i don't feel torn, nor do i feel fallen.. It just feels weird, like my butt is skipping down lollipop lane again.. but i feel like i'm left behind. Everyone's moving on. Bah! Another test of faith? I probably failed again.. But whatever, i'll do what's right this time =)

Shouldn't have asked.. Now i screwed myself up big time.. The truth hurts.. well, not exactly the truth itself, but probably because im kept in the dark.. I'm not angry, just disappointed...

Hmmm.. At least i didn't jump into the pit hole blindly this time.. Thanks for those who gave me nice advice which i kinda failed to follow.. haha~ but now i start to see the light! So it's not too late right? Since my butt is skipping down lollipop lane once again, might as well enjoy the ride! Wheeee~

Feels like heaven, true love is hard to find..

PS: Why do i like the way regrets taste? An addiction, a fatal attraction.........

2009-05-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

Wheee~~ Field camp's over! and YAY!! comp repaired!! still a little laggy but whatever, at least i have my compy back!! hope the lag goes away in time~~

Wheee.. went blog surfing.. kinda fun =)

Going for my 2nd driving lesson tmr.. super excited! :D:D and going for dinner with maril~~ hope i dont needa book in so early tmr =(

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-05-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

Went out with 2 lovely girls yesterday.. Well~~ Not at the same time of course xD Went to COURTS to find Maril to pass her the notes.. Hmm.. she looks the same, only slightly different hairstyle and a little make-up. Still quite pretty too! Had lunch with her at Ikea and was surprised she only ordered soup with a bun and bread and tea. Probably not too hungry but i bought her lunch anyway =D Chit chat with her for a while before we walked back to COURTS to her "personal locker" to keep her notes. And she made me wear the Staff Pass to use the Staff entrance to enter. And i was supposed to look like a supervisor cos i was wearing super casual! and she paraded me with the Staff Pass around my neck and went to meet her friend. Then she sent me to the bus stop and gave me directions home. I was a sotong to that area man. never ever seen any of that bus numbers in my life! And before she could explain finish, my bus came.. Lol.. and i nearly missed the stop to alight. Luckily she called me and told me "U MUST ALIGHT NOW!!" phew~ She's currently attached so no hopes to u guys =D Kinda happy to see her after such a long time =) Glad that she's still getting along well~ Little did i know that i was on her "WANTED" list for one week.. Dang i'm caught =/

Went for my 1st driving lesson after that.. super fun man.. i can't wait to get my license.. that is my passport to official freedom.. hope to get it before i ORD! my lesson dates are all messed up though =(

Went to watch X-Men Origins of Wolverine with my Mei after that.. we had dinner at Manduku at Tampines1. SUPER PRICEY and VERY LITTLE VARIETY!! not worth it.. and she's officially broke with $8 in her bank acc? lol.. i have $67!! Im richer! =p The show was quite ok.. expected slightly more though but it was a nice show overall.. Then i sent her home. took train to Eunos MRT and wow.. made me realised it has been super long since i been there.. brings back alot of memories~ And as we walked, we were talking about relationships and stuff.. apparantly a guy likes her now but she's not that interested.. She has NEVER been into a relationship before too.. Told her that maybe that is better but she said she wanted the experience.. i dunno.. is falling in and out of love better then being single all the way? probably not.. the feeling of a heartache sucks man.. still get it sometimes too but i try not to think too much about it.. though whenever im alone and i just think, the feelings return.. hurts and it sucks..really.. so at least if ur single all the way, u need not feel that feeling.. it's just a sharp pain inside and u really feel like crying.. bleah.. decided to take bus instead of taking mrt home.. at least i have more time by myself that way..

PS:Special thanks to Liz for the notes, Maril for the "tour" and Mei for the movie xD

Lonely D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-04-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

ok.. so my comp died again.. cant even load to windows.. got this stoopid error "Signature fail" or something like that.. sigh~~ super upset.. nothing to do whole day.. and no one's free to go out =(

Went out with Liz and Zi to watch 252 Signals Of Life yesterday.. had dinner at BBQ Chicken @ Tampines1, some new mall which opened beside TM which i didnt know of o.o the movie's not bad and so was the dinner! didn't send any of them home though..

Booked my Mei next week for Wolverine Origins!! YIPPEEE!! ha! it's gonna me just me and her~ la ta ta la ta~

Miss my comp super much now.. using mom's comp and bro's laptop atm.. sigh~ Can you be repaired? or must i buy a new one? hope can repair sia.. i got alot of documents inside.. especially all my lovely songs and videos =( any comp experts around?? i could use some help here =/

D32ThM@5T3R misses his compy..

2009-03-28T00:52:00.000-07:00

Oh crap, that weird feeling is back. At least it reminds me that im still somehow human..........

Okay.. i had a SUPER interesting "debate" in camp before booking out. Cos as usual we were talking about girls and poof, i said PEA (Someone who cant be named due to privacy reasons) was a slut because she had sex with her bf. Anand agreed with me to a certain extent cos he felt that virginity should be given only to the person u really love and it's a once a lifetime experience!! But Pok said u cant call her a slut!! Cos if u really love someone, things will progress and sooner or later will reach that stage. It's like after heavy petting and poof, the next stage is SEX!! which is quite true cos it's kinda hard to resist after petting. and furthermore, its true love!! for someone willing to give her body to someone before marraige, its more of love then a slutty action. And we started to "debate"

Me:So if they break up and she finds another guy and really loves him and this goes on, wont she be a slut cos she would have multiple sex partners?
Pok:No... Multiple sex partners is when you having sex with two different people when one is not your bf. It's okay if she wants to keep doing this, it's not multiple sex partners.
Anand: What happen if the girl gets pregnant?? Then how??
Pok: Aiya, u just dont shoot inside la! ( I was like O.O at this answer)
Anand: What if the guy dies? Then the baby wont have a father.
Pok:What if the girl dies? Then there wont be a baby!
Pok: So if sex is not allowed, then what about intimacy?? like hold hands and kissing?
Anand: That one is ok, but sex is a higher level.
Pok: But after heavy petting, sure will advance to sex de.. damn hard to resisit. Let's ask Terence. (And i got dragged in) Terence i ask you, after heavy petting would u proceed to sex? if she is just ur gf.
Me: Eh.. Yeah.. =x
Pok: SEE! Im right!

Conclusion: Singapore virgins are not that advanturous thats why we question about the actions they are doing.. Come on guys and girls, lighten up a little.. if they are more advanturous, everyone gains and people will not be looked down upon for having pre-marital sex. =)

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-03-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

Less then 11months to ORD!! Wheeeee~~

This is a REALLY FREAKY WORLD MAN!!! Zomg!! i swear i nearly shouted out Doule-U-Tee-Eff when i saw that post.. LOL!! Weird weird weird weird weird!!!

Are guys out there not doing their job? or are girls just getting more desperate? O.o then again, to go to such a stage, it must be a CRAZY DESPERATION!!! eew~! i cant wait for more things to happen actually.. though as sick as it is, it's really kinda interesting =p brings imagination to a higher level.. like imagine scissoring (only some people might know this term xD).. =x heh!

Pea Pea!! <3

2009-03-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

hmm.. 0.999.......... = 1!! cos 1/3= 0.333....... and 1/3 X 3 =1 Therefore 0.999..........=1 cool huh?

Been on a crazy search for sooo many songs that i like :D slowly finding them one by one.. whee~~ NICE!~

Pea = Finding for lost love =)

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-03-12T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ok... so iv been thinking ALOt about ONS lately.. haha.. maybe it's because of the enlistment and poof, SOOOOOOOOOO many chio bu~~ heh heh.. wonder how it feels to try it.. idk, maybe if the chance comes i might try it for fun =x haha..

PS: Am i seeing things?? O.O seriously?? Or did a friend of mine just became an official Les? ._.

D32ThM@5T3R

2009-03-08T22:53:00.000-07:00

i learned a few new terms in NS!! and one that i found interesting was "Camel Toe".. haha.. too bad if those of u dont understand what this means.. but the way they explained it.. SUPER FUNNY MAN!! Lazy to post.. =/

PS: Hope u get ur ONS with ur ex buddy =) will wait for ur good news..haha

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-01-28T06:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CNY!!! Got a few hundred bucks in total.. not stating the amount here though =p Went visiting ALL in one day so i could sleep at home on day 2.. =x Saw my cousin at granny's house.. SUPER PRETTY!! But she's 26 and attached so too bad for all u guys out there =D Then i met a 19 year old girl on bnet too.. o.0 WC3 FTW =) godly CNY man.. if only my luck was like this throughout the year.. haha.. going to book in now.. sadly, im gonna get confined for 2 weeks because of those dumb recruits.. $!@%@#%@#%@#!!!! HATE IT!! but oh well.. no choice.. toodles~~ gtg

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-01-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

Never believed anything was beautiful in this world
Pain, loneliness, and a little weariness..
Never let anyone into my zero-degree space
Rather be alone than think of anyone else
When two people are together, don't they only just get a bit of comfort?
Escape...the pas...then forget it all
Never thought one day my ending would suddenly change
who would take hold of my weak arms?
why cry? (who's wrong? who's right? who do you apologize for?)
Won't cry again... (who's wrong? who's right? who do you worry for?)
Enter a zero-degree space; wait for all to break
Though love may be dangerous, we'll face it together
It's too late to prepare for a promise never heard
How can i learn to accept a tomorrow with more love?
Exit a zero-degree space; everything's finally broken
Though love may tire me, i'll never regret it
Let down my defenses; nothing matters anymore
Escape the dark world; start a new tomorrow...
A new tomorrow...

D3@ThM@5T3R

2009-01-17T01:42:00.000-08:00

Went to the Mess Yesterday night.. well, today but since it's past 12midnight so yeah~ It was some CNY celebration thingy and there was a lion dance performance followed by some beer/wine drinking with 3 HOT girls (2 Malay and 1 Indian i think).. they wore SUPER MINI skirts with G strings!!! =O and during the dance performance, there was one which showed us her butt! the skirt was up and poof! Butt with G-string.. LOL!! Nice Ass i must say o.o but i still wonder why they dont hire chinese girls to perform for us on cny.. whoa, i might have gone crazy.. blessing in disguise xD after that they took a cab home.. haha, was wondering what happen if they took public transport in that attire xD probably sued for indecent exposure =p

PS: Was in bunk today and i learnt a new method of how to confess to a girl!! SUPER GOOD ONE!! i shall save it till i find the right girl~ =)

D3@ThM@5T3R getting excited~~ jkjk =x

2009-01-03T20:14:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

Went to MJ with andy and friends yesterday.. Won $76 O.O

So.. i spent my new year at Ju's condo BBQing.. was kinda fun to meet up old friends and stuff.. it was even funnier to see a bunch of hopeless guys trying to start a fire.. xD Went to his house to play Wii after that.. ZOMG SUPER FUN MAN!! And i must say i find ju's sis HOT!! But none of the guys agree with me -.-" Do i have some weird taste or something? O.o nah... doubt so.. cos i once met an angel~~ =) Went to play LAN after that till around 4am.. reached home and plopped.. OVERSLEPT for the SAF family day thingy.. luckily not much big shots and i manage to slide my way out of it.. =x

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-12-28T00:23:00.000-08:00

Went to MJ with CY, Andy and Lynn today~~ haha.. been long since i played with them.. won $12 =/ i wanan win more! =x greedisgood =)

Was doing guard duty on christmas in tekong.. it was a 24h guard duty~ sigh~ super sad.. at least i had my psp to accompany me and 7 FHM/Maxim Magazines =O it was fun browsing through them =p they had a special feature of annabel chong too! (In case u peeps dunno who is she, go find out) and there was this magazine "FHM hottest girls".. wow.. all over the world man!! Oh.. and here are some interesting quotes i got from the magazine..

"Constipated people dont give a shit"
"If sex is a pain is the arse, you are probably doing it wrongly"
"Impotence, is natures' way of telling you, no hard feelings~"

heh heh.. find it kinda cute.. anyway, time to viwawa! toodles~~

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-12-23T01:13:00.000-08:00

Do you know i still follow your footsteps silently just by reading about your life? =/

PS: Happy Bday lil Maril~~ Well, 1h 13mins ago =x

2008-12-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

Went out with Mei, HL and Joel today.. i didn't talk much again.. i don't know why i felt like this, i just had no mood to talk at all.. maybe they have changed and i dont really like the new "them".. perhaps its not like the past anymore.. or maybe im the one that has changed.. i don't know.. but it feels weird hanging out with them now.. the feeling sucks big time.. just dont feel like meeting them sometimes.. but i don't know why i get this feeling too.. but it seems as though we have drifted apart.. they seem like total strangers to me.. i really don't know what to say to them..just like today...

PS: Was just thinking and i remembered, im a Twed o.o

Confused D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-11-30T21:42:00.000-08:00

ok.. so i have been a tekong sgt for one week.. still a trainee now though cos im going through commanders preparation course which is to somewhat prepare and teach me how to train recruits.. the course lasts for 3 weeks so yeah.. but i already feel the freedom and power!! haha..feels like king really.. can OTOT go to canteen or mess to go relax.. also went to swim and my shoulders ached like mad the whole night!! worst night of my life man.. it hurt so much i couldnt sleep till around 3.. kept walking around the corridor, tossing and turning and trying to ease the pain but it just wouldnt go off! and it was a throbbing pain too.. sigh~~ hate it.. luckily my bed buddy woke up and gave me some yokoyoko!! it helped and i slept at around 4 only to wake up at 5 to start training =(

Went out with chubs and my godsis.. my godsis seems to be getting prettier and prettier!! haha.. then we took some photos at the end..went to hard rock cafe~ there was one shot of me and my mei that i had to put my arm around her! arghh.. feels weird.. kinda comfy and nice though =x haha.. going to play games now.. toodles~~

2008-11-21T20:32:00.000-08:00

POP LOH!!! I'm henceforth known as 3SG Ter!! YAY!!! Feels great to be a sergeant.. heh heh.. and guess what? im posted to BMTC!! YIPPEEEE!!! Sgts there are godlike.. which means im god for the rest of my NS!! YAY!! But i'll be nice to my recruits of course.. after all, iv been through hell and the feeling sucks.. but heck, the 32km march + firetrench digging + Taiwan training was all worth it since im super happy with my posting.. luckily never go to 1st Guards or 3 SIR.. phew~~ All the best to all 3SG =D

3SG D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-11-16T03:59:00.000-08:00

YIPPPEEEE!!! So yeah, im back from Taiwan and im going to graduate next week!! Now for the experience =D Firstly, TAIWAN GIRLS ARE SUPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!! SERIOUS!! *Faints* i wanna stay there longer or something.. they are uber chio to the max man.. seems like a fantasy dream or something.. lol.. ok and i went to Shi Lin Night Market.. and its like a SUPER HUGE bugis street!! The hotel we stayed was kinda small though.. But there were 2 channels which had porn!! and we sat there watching till around 1am or so.. LOL!! and we visited this sex shop which i cannot enter if im in singapore.. wow.. some of the stuff there looked pretty fun to play with xD anyway, training was kinda mad over there.. walked a total of over 100km in 2 weeks.. and there was this 7 days outfield which made us wanna cry.. but the R & R was uber fun!! back in sg now.. and the girls now look kinda plain.. But Chubs and my godsis seemed kinda hot today =O especially my godsis!! her dress was kinda transparent but yeah, nothing exposed so no worries ^^ la la la.. time to play comp!! miss my comp SOOOOOooooooooo much

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-10-21T02:06:00.000-07:00

Had a mahjong session at my house today with Tony, Yew Ann and Zhi Zhong.. Lost $30!! but ok la.. reasonable xD considering the stakes reach around $60 when i play with Andy and company o.o After that i went to Kushin-bo at suntec.. Met Ze Xuan, Jun Zi, Hong Siang, Shiping, Pok, Tony and his GF there!!! =O She's a teacher btw =x And he told her i had a fetish for nurses ._." there goes my reputation once again =/ bleah~ The Kushin-bo theme song was SUPER CUTE!! and the food was godly nice but it was $42 so today i used like $72 =x

Went to the beach with chubs and yb last saturday.. i dunno why but i just didn't feel like talking.. it's like a rather just keep everything to myself and remain silent.. once i wanted a hug, then i didn't want to be touched at all.. call it split personality.. i myself dont know =/ And it brought me back memories of my first visit to the beach.. i'll never forget what happened there.. it was soo...... movie-like.. i wonder if u still remember our beach experience? =)

Mom is limping now.. she fell from the stairs but thankfully, it was only a broken bone so she's on MC for one month!! but she's getting better now so no worries ^^

Bro got into trouble again.. this time mom and dad didn't want to help him.. they decided enough was enough and he had to learn the hard way.. will my bro be gone? i wish to help but it would not do him any good.. things will just get worse.. tensions seem to be rising.. i dont know whether going back home is a good thing now or not.. maybe camp life is more relaxing for me.. but i'll never sign on because of that! after all, we are still family =/

Going to Taiwan next Sunday for 3 weeks of training.. after that is 1 week to graduation and i become a 3SG.. should i be happy? i dunno.. more responsibilities will come which means more chances to screw things up like i always do and get loads of confinements.. bleah.. one and a half more years and im done with this service..

PS: Hope i get to see u before i go...... but i think its kinda impossible.. oh well~

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-10-11T11:14:00.000-07:00

WoOoOoOoT!!! Grandslam 2 COMPLETED!!! It was a crazy week.. We started marching at 12am till around 3 or 4am.. then crossed the river at 6am.. reached attack site around 8 and we chiong up that stupid hill.. day 2 was spent digging like mad.. finished my fire trench at 2am and slept for around 4h.. YAY!! day 3 march to UO site at 12am till aroud 3am.. finally i get some sleep at home!! now only looking forward to going to taiwan in 2 weeks time.. training there is going to be the craziest and worst iv yet to experience.. but im sure we will all pull through together and before i know it, Terence is 3SG Ter!! =D Before i go there,i already got a list of things i will try to do =x Go out with YB to the beach, Go out with Maril, Go out with Hong Siang and Tony to Kushinbo!! wheEe~~ Block leave next next week.. yipee!

PS: Im the quiet sophisticated type.. =/

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-10-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

ARGHHHHHhhhhh!! Grandslam 2!! sigh~~ its going to be a pure mental torture.. 4 days without sleeping.. first day gonna be super shag.. =/ sure get rashes again..hope one weekend is enough for my rashes to recover.. but its gonna feel so damn uncomfortable.. bleah oh well.. got to go through this shit..

And so my godsis is in love!! heh heh.. never seen they guy yet but he must have a huge impact on her since she seems so crazy over him.. wonder how many dates they have gone so far.. hmmmmmmmm =/ perhaps one day i'll get to see him..

Comp had virus recently but i manage to remove some of it.. still a bit infected i guess.. sigh~~ when it got hit by the virus, i felt super terrible.. felt like crying and dying.. point to note, never dl music online if ur not sure of the webbie =/ and its not porn!! its music =D

going to have dinner before i book in.. toodles~~

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-07-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

Halfway through SISPEC!! 4 more weeks to pass out!! hope i get posted to MP or ARTY!! =x heh heh.. if suay suay go Advance Section Leader Course then i wanna go back to tekong as a sgt!! =D

Siannnnnnnnnn... next week is outfield.. zzz.. hate the bugs.. hate wearing the uniform to sleep.. worse of all, hate the treatment in outfield!! cos must maintain discipline so everyone will be more stricter =/ oh well.. suck thumb!

PS: Happy B'day to Liz and Grace~~

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-07-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

YAY!! Silver for IPPT!! and week 3 of SISPEC is over!! w00t!! 5 more weeks to go.. but SISPEC is SUPER BORING and SIAN!!! Suffering now so that i can eventually get the SGT rank and my life will be better =D

Results for IPPT are as followed
SBJ=239cm
Shuttle Run=10.0s
Sit-Up=42
Pull-Up=12
2.4km Run=10.52s

Ta da!! SILVER GRADE!!! =D hope can get the $100 for silver thingy cos some ppl say dont have =/
oh.. also got a new hp!! camera phone but cant bring to camp..its a crappy model.. will only upgrade it once NS is over so yeah..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-07-06T02:05:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking.. and yes, i do drop by occasionally to see how u are doing.. to tell u the truth, im very happy.. that you are leading ur life to the fullest and staying happy.. everyone has their problems.. i can see u have some too but im glad u can overcome them.. stay strong yea? and just as i was looking at how u were doing, i saw something.. something that made me shed a tear.. the feeling is undescribable.. it was unexpected.. it seems too coincidential that when everything suddenly seems to be crashing down on me, you were just there to cheer me up a lil..thanks =) though it might mean nothing to you, it means alot to me.. perhaps when people are having their worst moments in life, it is such small gestures that gives a small glimmer of hope.. I probably have no regrets now.. im just glad i knew a friend like you =D

PS: I just want to say thanks.. at least u still remember me =) thats more then what i can ever hope for............

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-07-06T01:38:00.000-07:00

Training is tough.. but family problems are worse i guess.. i once thought i had such a nice comfortable home.. maybe i was wrong.....

saw something which i haven't seen in a long time.. and i really dunno what to do.. will an answer drop from the sky? will dark clouds fade away in time to come? idk.. but looking at how the situation is, my life is kinda in a mess.. well, indirectly.. but my life is pretty much endangered.. so yeah.. if i happen to disappear from this world some day, just remember that Terence once existed in ur lives =) The guy who thinks he can handle everything and keeps all the problems to himself =/

Went to watch "Wanted" today with my mom.. the movie is super vulgar but i like the action part.. and it's a super BLOODY movie too!! alot of blood splattering.. the best part of the movie is the twist i guess.. even i was like =O at the moment of the twist!

Sian..must book in tomorrow.. but lucky its 10.30pm.. and im getting much used to the training.. i lost 2kg in the first week! then gained 300g this week =/ must train harder!! the training schedule is more of lessons now so yay!! im happy! =D

PS: =/

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-06-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

Ok..so im back after a LOOOOOOONNG BMT training.. and trust me.. SCREW NS!! Confinement period already kena whack till see stars IN THE DAY!! Zzzzz.. SO yeah.. i'll start of from my BMT life..

Im an Orion Warrior from Platoon 4 Section 1.. 4D number is 4108.. i got a SUPER NICE sect com.. seriously.. he is seriously THE NICEST SECTION COMMANDER u can find.. but my platoon sergeant rapes us most of the time so yeah.. at least the sect com boosts our morale.. seriously the BEST section commander man.. before book out the other 3 platoons kena whack and our sect com tells us why whack us when we are going to book out in a clean set of uniform? haha.. in the end only we all nvr do push-ups.. well sadly, our platoon sgt whacks us almost everyday.. LITERALLY WHACK US!! ask us run to 5th floor and number of and come back down in 3mins.. THATS RIGHT!! 3 FREAKING MINUTES!!! suay sia.. my bunk in 5th floor.. everyday climb stairs.. i think my knee a bit problem now but i'll ignore that for now.. oh and we did reach the 3min timing!! LOL.. and for those of u who wonders how are route marches like, let me tell you.. route marches are a bitch.. lol.. field camp was not as bad as i expected though.. i find sit test more xiong then field camp.. basket sit test the fast march is a murder.. =/

Anyway now im back home waiting for my posting.. i dunno where i'll get posted to.. any command school is nice i guess but i hate the thought of going back to army life.. i LOVE CV life!! =/ Just watched increadible hulk with yb,joel and chubs.. i find the show SUPER NICE!! very cool!! but i start to wonder why are all marvel shows around the same theme? the enemey is usually someone of the same species as the hero.. Hulk vs Mutated Hulk, Spiderman vs Venom, Iron Man vs Iron Man...etc u get the point o.o???

Recently become more quiet.. i dont know..sometimes i just dont feel like talking.. sometimes i just wanna be alone.. arghh...if only i had time to myself.. can just go out buy a can drink and just drown myself in thoughts.. that would be so nice.. sadly i got no time to do that..stoopid ns is catching up on me.. but oh well, when im walking alone or waiting for the bus, i just think alot about my past.. haha.. sweet memories.... <3 them =) and to those who made it happen..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-03-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

Went to NUS open house last sunday with bob.. Supposed to go with Jh and Jw but then Bob had no one to go with on Sunday so i accompanied him instead.. on saturday, i was at Andy's house Tong Xiao!! Then in the morning go home, nap for an hour or 2 and went for NUS open house.. Bob's mom came to fetch me and i sat behind while bob was sitting in front with his mom.. And we were talking normally and then bob used WTF beside his mom!! Whoa.. and a whole string of other vulgarities.. then i asked him when i came out of the car how come u dont get owned by ur mom and he told me she is used to it le xD LOL!! SO COOL!! Still haven't applied for Uni yet but i will probably do so soon..

Was at Andy's house again yesterday and we had another Tong Xiao session!! hahaaa... but this time we were not playing mahjong or cards.. we were playing Warcraft 3!!! Cos he had 2 computers in the same room and we AT together.. super cool la.. dont need to type to each other, just shout across the room.. then the coordination is better cos we can discuss while playing.. WOW!!! I wish my home had LAN.. =/ Then we played till 7am and i napped till 9.30am on Alan's bed cos he went to school xD Rushed to Changi Airport to send HL and my mei off.. HAVE FUN AT INDONESIA!!!! AND TAKE CARE WOR~~ Really miss u two right now... bleah =/ hope u 2 come back soon.. =(

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-03-14T03:12:00.000-07:00

Ok..so it's like 3am+ and im still awake on the comp so i decided to just come and blog a lil.. just finished a dota game with nab+friends with andy and alan.. had a mahjong session at my house b4 that.. and i swear, ever since A level results were out, my luck has changed.. it's so coincidential that its almost scary.. before my A level results were released, almost every time i played mahjong or poker, i would lose like mad.. my gambling debt was like -$150+.. yes!! I LOST OVER HUNDRED BUCKS!!! i remember the night before A level results, i was at Andy's house playing mahjong overnight and i was losing.. so damn worried because my luck was soo horrible.. not even a single win for like weeks.. then i scored quite well for the A's and it was like the turning point.. from that day until now, i haven't lost a single session yet... my current debt is -$12.. WOOT!! I made back my hundred bucks!! $12 to go and it becomes profit! =D Gambling is addictive, but who cares xD i just wanna enjoy myself from now until i go into NS!! sian.. less then a month go to.. bleah =/

Ok.. so i finally saw Elton's gf from her blog.. and OH EM GHEE!! Seriously.. she is IMBA!!! i really dunno how to describe sia....... hmm.. lets see.. looks super angelic and SUPER PRETTY!! I SWEAR!!! See already sure nose bleed.. Very sweet smile!! hmm.. dunno how else to describe le.. lol.. LUCKY ELTON!!! Hahaa.. But no worries, im not interested in your girl xD gonna be single from now till i enter uni i guess.. after all, it's not easy to maintain a relationship when im in NS..

I WANNA EAT SUBWAY TOMORROW!!! but so hard to find ppl to go with me =/ oh.. and CONGRATZ TO GEOKY!!! Hope u make many more nice friends and enjoy ur new school =) *pokes*

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-03-07T16:37:00.000-08:00

WHOOPEEDOOPEEDO!!!!!! I got STRAIGHT 'B's for my A level!!! YAY!!!! Better then i expected!!! But a lil upset that i didn't get to snatch any A.. but hey, doubt anyone will scold me this time for not getting any distinctions.. Asked my form teacher and she said confirm can go into NUS!!! Omg!!! When i received my results, the tension, the emotions..... it's so difficult to describe.. and when i saw the results, i was sooo overjoyed...... i cried.. tears flowed.. but i smiled with the tears this time..

To my 2 best friends Lim Jing Huang and Thor Jia Wei, Thank you very much... this success wouldn't be possible without you two.. it's the competitive spirit within the 3 of us that made me want to score, that made me kept going on and studying.. as always, im the bottom of us 3.. haha.. both of you had 'A's but i didn't even get a single one.. but im very happy already!! Lol.. despite having soo many tests and stuff, in the end i still didn't manage to beat you two in the major exam.. but hey, im glad we all did well together and we will have many more great moments ahead in life waiting for us.. Glad to have known you two as my best friends in JC life.. =)

Time to reveal a bit of what i had done to prepare for the A levels.. something which most people would not know.. this grades didn't come easy.. i went out almost everyday to the library to study alone.. to block out all distractions.. i listened to music while studying to bring me into a world where no one could bother me.. and i sat there for 6h+ just studying.. At night, i slept at 2-3am.. though i didn't do tutorials and merely just copied down answers, i went through them at home.... so yeah, even though we might not be smart, but as long as we are hardworking, it's possible to achieve what you want.. =)

PS:Finally, my future is stable...........

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-03-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

OMGOSH!! The chocs from my mei were SUPER NICE!! thanks alot ^^ i ate them all already =x currently munching on marshmellows.. anyway, now i know where to buy nice chocs =x haha.. but i already have my lil secret shop to buy chocs for others.. super nice ones too but the travelling time is like so zzzzzz -.-"

A level out this friday.. and to be honest,i have a very bad feeling about it.. my luck this month is super horrible.. oh well.. tomorrow might be my last day to enjoy =/ results out at 2.30pm.. hope in the morning can go out and enjoy a bit ba.. just hope i can get into a local university.. *prays*

Had a session at my house today.. and i found out something about Elton.. HAHAHAaa~~ very nice to gossip a bit.. and i gave him a mini gift xD lolz.. i see a bit of myself in him but oh well.. good luck pal =) may you succeed.. =D

Good luck to all those taking the A level results this friday.. And good luck to Andy and Chen Yen with ur contest!! doubt i can go and support cos i might be going to those uni talks.. parents kinda forced me too.. =/

PS: Leading a very tiring and boring life, yet i don't know what is lacking..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-03-02T18:28:00.000-08:00

Super tired these few days.. been going out soo often and sleeping super late at night.. last night just went for overnight session!! Came home at around 8.30am, took a shower and went to bed.. super comfy!!

Thanks to my Mei for the chocs!! I shall go try them now~~

D3@ThM@5T3R exhausted..

2008-02-28T12:12:00.000-08:00

Yipppeeeeeeeeee!!! I feel like im free!!! =) Though something still binds me, but it isn't that strong anymore!! Wheeeee~~ Soon i'll get to feel the freedom which Bob felt =) Thx pal, looking forward to dotaing with you when u come out =D

Going to meet chubs, yb and joel this sat!! Wonder what they going to do.. maybe go to the zoo or bird park?? or maybe play pool.. idk.. see what they decide ba~

Got this new sweet.. mint de.. and the mint is SUPER STRONG!!! I's like the mint is in a bubble, so u suck it in ur mouth until the bubble bursts and all the mint liquid comes out.. Whoa!! when the mint comes out, SUPER HIGH SIA!!! LOL!!! Cos very hot!!! =x

Went to Andy's house overnight to play mj!! Lost $2.. lol.. Then this new guy called Jia Hong sent ALL OF US home!! THX DUDE!!! Such a nice guy~~ =D So i reached home at around 5am+ and slept until 11am+.. 6h of sleep only!! Gosh~~ i still feel sleepy~~ Maybe i'll take an afternoon nap later =p

PS:Yin wei you le ai, shuo yi wo chun zai.. (Because of love, i exist)

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-25T23:38:00.000-08:00

So the rumour says the A level results come out this friday.. im not sure if it's true but... it got me thinking quite a lot.. that slip of paper i get is going to determine my entire future.. such a cruel reality but that's the way things work around here i guess.. =(

Talked to Pea about my situation and asked him for some advice.. glad he was there to help and what he gave me was kind of meaningful.. he told me to put in 10%-20% feelings so that i wont get hurt too badly if things do not turn out as expected.. The lower the expectations, the lower the disappointment.. but i'm afraid i can't do that.. cos it wouldn't be fair to her.. what if she put her entire heart and soul into it, won't i feel guility? haha.. ok so im just a dreamer.. it's not like things will turn out this way anyway.. besides, things always never turn out the way i expect it to be =/ Sigh~ The memories of the past are the burden which i carry.. When can i ever learn to let go?

Really wonder what my future would be like.. who is this one girl which will share this journey with me? I guess till now, im still searching for you.. Have you already appeared in my life? If not, i hope to meet you soon!! =) If u find that all odds are against you, never give up!! Every problem has a solution.. Hope i can pop into ur life to be there for you when u need me! But we know that life isn't that simple.. God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we do, we will cherish that person.. Take care~ =D

PS: If you love me, tell me...

D3@ThM@5T3R searching for love......

2008-02-25T00:43:00.000-08:00

Just reached home from a "JJ Concert"!! Haha.. went out with Chen Yen and Andy to suntec.. it was a GREAT SHOW!!! WOW!!! His voice damn power and the songs he sing is SUPER NICE MAN!!! Really enjoyed myself =D

PS: Knowing you seems like a fantasy.. You're like a dream come true.. I really don't wish to return to reality.. why cant Time give me a break?

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-24T12:46:00.000-08:00

Went to Aunt's house yesterday for some CNY gathering.. not bad le!! Collected 5 ang pows which totalled up to $112!! THATS ALOT!! cos my aunt is super rich.. used to own a 3 storey house, sold it and bought 2 condos.. she gave me $50 in the ang pow!!! WHOOPEEDOOPEEDO!!! haha.. Then i drank a glass of white wine.. quite ok ba.. taste bitter and sour de.. alcohol % was 11.5%!! Wow o.0

Reached home and went on msn.. chatted until around 12.10 when bob called me tell me got dota match.. apparently there was these 5 players at lan shop who challenged us.. so fine.. played with them 2 rounds.. won both!! haha.. they challenged the wrong people =D

Sorry for psing you on msn wor =/ till now i still feel bad.. =x

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-24T00:05:00.000-08:00

This is just a random post.. dont bother about it.. thanks..

Apparently, you have been avoiding me... a lot... not replying my sms, phone calls, etc. I just don't know what to do any more. I love you deeply, but I guess the feelings ain't much reciprocated now.

The least you could have done was to say "sorry, not going" or something around those lines, instead of raising my hopes up. First, you say ok, then deciding, then ok, then see schedule... then no reply... You don't know how much anticipation and excitement I built up because of that, only to have everything crushed in front of me, a total emotional collapse... Perhaps the best epitome.

Almost repeatedly you stood me up, even when I gave ample time for you to prepare and what not. I guess I'm just not worth that much in your eyes, nothing but a lowly beggar whom you threw some gold upon.

What's worse is I don't understand why almost everytime you say I'm not serious. Do you really think I'm just some playboy who likes to play around with feelings? I'm very much inexperienced in this buisness but I'm trying my hardest, but again that doesn't seem good enough.

The bottom line is, I love you deeply, you are something more to me.I care a lot about others, but towards you its different, I can't explain how, but the feeling is...divine.

Oh, and one more thing, A LOT of my friends object to me loving you, for reasons aplenty. But do I care? No. I simply can't stop myself from throwing myself at your knees and succumbing to your will. You just mean that much to me.

Perhaps by now you are saying that I'm selfish, and that I want you all to myself, that I'm a self-centered egoistic bastard. But have I ever done anything to "refrain" you from doing anything? My only argument is that I don't like you to drink because you are sick, but other than that, by all means, do so.

Promises are promises. Honor them with your life and soul. At least I do... Perhaps I'm just a piece of shit on the road to be swept away whenever candy comes by...

At this point of time, I am ultimately drained of life, void of energy. Every piece of my heart and soul I surrendered unto thee, only to have it broken so many times...And at this moment, you will be saying "ok loh, then i permanently dont call u, dont reply u loh...so need to break le". Truth is, I just can't stop thinking about you. If that were to happen, I just... don't know what to do...

And why am I typing all this down, instead of just saying it to you? Well, honestly I suck at speaking. Seriously. It is only through written words that I can truely express myself.
After all that's said and done here... I have nothing much to say, besides the fact that you ARE the best thing that ever happened to me. Note the ARE... not WERE, I choose my words carefully. Yes, you may not love me as much as before, but my dedication to you is undying and unwaivering. Expressing it physically is a whole different matter though... But nothing is impossible, with you.

You are the alpha, the genesis of my life.. You are the new dawn, the herald of utopia.. You are the angel, the savior...

PS: This is just a random post.. really nothing much to it.. don't mind me =)

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-23T01:12:00.000-08:00

This post is here because someone wanted me to blog cos she was bored and wanted to read blogs.. LOL!!! Yes!! Now my turn to put a sentence about you xD There you go.. happy reading~~ *pokes*

Went to Andy's house today for the usual session.. I was online from 8am till 3pm when Andy suddenly sms me to go his house at 4pm.. today quite lucky ba.. win $27!!! Playing poker is so DAMN SCARY!! Today poker i got a pair queens, one was concealed.. Andy show-hand, i follow.. and i WON!!! Learnt today that poker is a VERY high-stakes game O.o scary~~ Andy lost the most today.. $92.. :o

Supposed to go play pool tomorrow.. with jh, HL and joel.. but my mom wanted me to go to some university talk at suntec tomorrow.. so hopefully can postpone the pool session to sunday.. ooh.. speaking of pool session, went to play pool with nick teo and i won him 3-2!!! OMG!! FIRST TIME WIN HIM.. ZZZzzz.. too godly pro le.. anyway, sunday also have a meeting with Andy and CY.. hope we have loads of fun together!! and i still owe CY her korea gift O.o

Feeling kinda neutral now.. the emotional side has subsided but im not sure how long it will remain this way..i miss the adrenaline rush.. but along with it came a huge price.. the disappointments.. oh well..

PS: Your sweetness is my weakness.....

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

WoW!! I actually stayed online till 2.30am last night just chatting on msn!! and went to bed at 3am cos i was smsing the person i was chatting..HA!! i must say the talk we had last night was rather interesting.. kinda fun too.. been long since i chatted on msn for so long and so late at night.. Now we know more about each other and perhaps, too much too.. haha =O sorry i had to go off last minute cos my parents woke up.. phew~~ and if i didn't shut down my comp, i would get caught.. bro sneaked out last night to meet his gf and my parents found out!! They were like screaming and i could hear them..scary~~ not the best time to get caught for using the comp so late at night i guess =x

Went out with Nick Teo, Nick Wong, and Tie Fu today.. played arcade and we went to PS there to watch "L Change The World".. For a 2h 8mins show, its worth it cos we only paid $6 per ticket.. but overall, the show wasn't as nice as i expected it to be.. oh well.. at least i watched it on the first day of release!! the cinema wasn't that packed too so it was nice to just sit and watch ba..

PS:Would you hate me if i told you i fell in love with you.................? again..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-21T02:17:00.000-08:00

Saw something that i shouldn't have.. but at least this is as far as the test god gave me goes.. cos i know that i haven't fallen too deep.. i know myself too well.. but things change, and so do people.. have i changed? i hope not..but now im very confused.. because i saw some things which i liked too.. which i saw in common.. which i admired.. and until a certain extent, which i envied as well.. then i remembered the joy.. the laughter.. the tears... and the pain.. and some things until today, which i cannot forget.. i have moved on with my life.. but i bring along these memories to remind me of my past emotions.. and to help me to decide whether i want to relive these memories or not.. thats why in one of the class pictures, i decided to become a lifeless doll..just sit there, with no feelings, no emotions, no worries, no pain, no tears, no sorrow and the best part, no thoughts.. and i wonder if my life can ever be that way.....

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

To one of my best friends, this post is specially for you.. I would like to tell u, i finally understand how u feel.. when u were stuck in that situation, i always thought it was so easy to break free.. yet i could see that u were struggling so hard.. but now i finally understand how it feels like.. perhaps god gave me this test to show that making choices in life isn't that simple.. making decisions was never meant to be easy.. and i finally understand why u chose that path.. to go all the way.. right now im stuck at the crossroads, still not knowing what to do..yes, im in somewhat the same sticky situation u were once in.. im sure now u have much more experience then me and im certain of what advice u would give me.. but im not sure whether to heed that advice or not.. after all, when i gave the correct advice, you did not heed mine and we both finally understand now that it's so difficult to give it up, thats why we choose the other path.. i finally understand why u made certain decisions which i once did not understand.. im very sorry for not understanding how u felt despite being ur best friend too.. im currently very confused right now.. perhaps i'll call u some day to tell u about it and listen to what advice u have to offer.. just dont give me the same advice i gave you cos we all know that it's not gonna work =x kinda envy you now that u finally manage to break free from the shackles which once bounded u so tightly.. now it's my turn.. hope all this will come to an end soon, be it a sad or happy ending.. after all, true love stories never have endings =/

PS: La la la.. to those out there who have no idea what this post is about, dont bother trying to figure it out =p cos u wont xD

D3@ThM@5T3R stuck at crossroads

2008-02-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

Am i too emotional? idk.. just kinda hate that part of me i guess.. it's like being possessed and i cant control my feelings.. What some1 told me is right.. im like being stuck in quicksand, the more i struggle to forget, the more deeper i'll sink in.. but hey, at least now im not sinking too fast, or too deep =/

Went to BCH today to pass them the gifts.. only saw Lilian, Ah Phing, SK and Ah Hui there.. quite surprised to see so few people and NO customers.. WOW!! SUPER COOL LE!! If only that happened in CNY period.. haha.. wont need to work so hard.. but we all know thats not gonna happen -.-" so i returned the clothes, gave them the gifts and collected 600g of sliced pork!! =D also gave them 4 boxes of choc which i bought from korea and a bag of seaweed from korea.. quite nice le!! hope they will like it ba =)

in a few mins time, im going to watch Ah Long pte ltd with parents.. heard from mom's friends they say very funny.. but the show is at 11.10PM.. sianzz.. late night show.. but oh well, at least i get super tired and reach home can just lie on my bed and plop! right now just chatting online.. no time to play games also.. =/ Hope to watch Kung Fu Dunk, Death Note3: L changes the world and Jumper soon.. hope can find time ba.. cos still must go visiting and parents got to work.. oh.. and i banked in all of the money which i earned from working into the bank after giving $100 each to parents.. initially wanted to buy a PSP but then decided that it's not worth it.. might as well save the $300+ for something more useful in future =D YAY!! Money management.. =)

Valentine's day was VERY lonely for me.. sigh~ another lonely valentine's day.. as i sit in front of my comp playing online games, and see people dedicate their love for each other online... =/ oh well.. some day, my time will come! After all, patience is a virtue.. i wonder how many of my friends actually went out for valentine dates? and i also wonder, who will save me from this loneliness?

PS: All it takes is just a fake smile to let you believe im happy when im actually bleeding inside......

Lonely D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-02-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

BACK FROM KOREA!!! YAY!! And yes, i get to see FALLING SNOW!!! But it's SUPER SUPER COLD!! When we were at Changi Airport, i saw some Jap school girls!! probably a tour to singapore or something.. but the skirt is SUPER SHORT O.o oh, and Korean Air Stewardess are CTTM!!! ok enough of that..

Day1: Touch down at Korea at around 6am in the morning.. their time is 1h ahead of us which means 5am singapore time! the temperature was -5 degrees over there.. our first stop was an island where they acted the show Winter Sonata.. The rows of trees were VERY beautiful!! =O Then we went for a hot spring where we must ALL be naked in other to go in.. there were like 100+ naked men over there O.o ok la.. at first a bit awkward but after that got used to it.. then beside the hot spring area is the swimming pool.. OMG!! trust me, u wont wanna see korean girls in swimsuit.. nose sure bleed de XD Come to think of it, korean girls look naturally pretty.. but they all LOOK THE SAME!! small eyes with fair skin -.-"

Day2: Went to Ski!! FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I EVER GET TO SKI!! SUPER FUN!! but not easy to ski also..very slippery.. and it's VERY tiring cos skiing is a full body exercise thingy.. so we practically ski for the whole day and went on top of the mountain to take pictures.. the scenary was soooo beautiful!! At night played Di Dee with my bro and 2 other singapore tour group members.. YAY!! i was the biggest winner.. =/ Bleah.. i gamble too much i guess =x but hey, we didn't bet much, only betted on prawn crackers.. loser had to eat 10 crackers.. and my bro kept munching on them xD

Day3:Went to Everland Themepark.. mainly took pictures and bought gifts.. cos im too old for these rides =p bought a SUPER COOL keychain and stuck it onto my bag =D then at night we went to this clothes mall where 90% of the clothes being sold were for girls.. so in the end, i didn't buy anything there.. my specs spoilt though so i bought a korean one!! haha.. cos quite cheap over there so just buy a new pair of glasses.. same colour but slightly bigger.. At nightwe stayed at a 5-star hotel and for dinner, we had pork BBQ!! it's like seoul garden!! SUPER NICE!!

Day4: Went to the Korean Presidential house today but of course, cannot enter and we can only stand from far and take pictures.. Then we visited the ancient korean palace.. super big o.o for lunch, we had korean ginseng chicken.. not very tasty but since it was so cold, just ate it anyway =x after that, we went to a cosmetic shop.. SUPER HUGE ONE!! and the sales girl who was talking to us was...... SUPER CUTE AND CHIO!!! omg!! then we went to watch the Nanta Show.. where they made music from kitchen utensils.. very nice show!! there were 4 male actors and 1 female actor.. the female actor was VERY PRETTY!! then at the last part of the show, the guys were topless and the female was wearing a bra only.. and as u know, korean is a traditional sort of country.. so at the end of the show, they bow to the audience.. now guys, i know what you are thinking of.. and girls, go try it in front of the mirror XD lol.. jkjk.. At night, we went to the Lotte Amusement park.. super crowded so me and my bro got fed up.. then we saw this ride.. EMPTY!! no queue at all.. and we went in.. and halfway in, we saw the sign "Warning, you may get wet during the ride".. ZZZzzz in the end, both of us got a lilk wet -.-""

Day5: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! =D First, we went to this Ginseng shop.. Korean Ginseng is said to be the best in the world!! and my parents bought a whole bunch of ginseng.. and it cost a total of US$3200+.. WOW!! O.O then we went to a amethyst shop.. it's a purple crystal but i didn't really look at it much cos im not really a fan of those.. After that, we whent to sinchon station which was like a mini china town.. sooo many students there.. probably just finish school =/ Nearby also got one famous korean all girl's high school.. but as u know i HATE shopping.. so we just walk around and then sit down at dunkin doughnuts till time was up XD Then we had to take a plane to Jeju Island..so we went to the domestic airport and there got internet!! that was when i came online to tag on my tagboard =p Jeju island is also known as honeymoon island.. there the weather is not as cold.. around 6 degrees but the wind is SUPER strong.. -.-" so still freezing cold.. For dinner, we ate simple traditional korean food!! quite nice i must say =O but for the past few days, they serve more veg then meat -.-""

Day6:SNOWED THE WHOLE DAY TODAY!!! YAY!! went to the harbor today.. was supposed to go inside a submarine but the waves were too strong so in the end, cant =/ then we went to this mountain.. but it was too windy and cold that none of us even went halfway up.. some of us even hid in the phone booth cos it was not as cold XD.. then we went to a flower garden and a orange plantation.. for lunch, we had BBQ BLACK BOAR MEAT!! VERY VERY NICE!!! =O After that, we went for horse riding.. very fun i must say but it was soooo cold =( Then we went to see a waterfall at jeju island.. very cool scenary.. waterfall + snowfall.. After that, the bus passed by this "Mysterious Road" where the bus can still move even though the engine is turned off.. this is due to GRAVITY!!! Cool.. the road is not inclined yet the bus can still move due to gravity.. after that, we went to Jeju Magic World.. not a magic show, it's more of a acrobatic show.. very impressed with the performance!! =O Got kangaroo boxing with Man, and the kangaroo won.. then got those normal acrobatic performances where they fly and stuff.. and got the motorcycle in the metal ball.. 6 bikes inside altogether!! very cool sia.. Last stop was the Dragon rock and Mermaid rock by the sea.. The dragon rock was said to be formed by volcanic eruption!! then when the lava hardened, a dragon head was formed O.o cool..

And thats the end of my Korean Advanture!! ok, seems pretty simple but let's just say im super lazy to go into great detail.. lol.. Gonna go for CNY dinner now!! Eating at this chinese restaurant.. oh and i managed to smuggle back some chewing gum!! on the plane they say chewing gums must declare but we decided to take the risk and walk through the "Nothing to declare" BINGO!! never check us!! YIPEEE~~~

Bought MANY MANY GIFTS back.. but cant give them all to EVERYONE i know cos korean stuff are pretty expensive.. i spent more then $150 on gifts alone o.o now to make arrangements to pass the gifts around.. hmm.. probably give the BCH peeps first cos i still must go and collect my 600g of bakkwa!! =D Thats all for now.. really miss my computer alot and my friends at singapore!! Been thinking of you guys when i was away~ and now im back!!! =D 2 months to NS.. looking forward to it i guess =) DINNER TIME!! Ta taaaa~~

Human by day, D3@ThM@5T3R by night..

2008-02-06T19:17:00.000-08:00

No words were said at all.. it was just total silence.. as we both sat there eating our lunch.. i took small spoonfuls as i suddenly had no appetite.. we both looked out the door, not looking into each other's eyes.. i chewed hard but i couldn't swallow.. i tried to talk but words just wouldn't seem to come out.. in the end, no words were said at all.. it was just total silence.. once again, love screwed me up.. big time..

My working days are finally over!! Total number of hours:280 Total amount paid, $1584.. YAY!! gave both my parents $200 each and put $100 into the bank for now.. still deciding what to do with the remaining $1k.. oh well.. maybe buy a PSP or go out and have LOADS of fun.. =D i have grown thinner now O.o but hey,im going to korea in 4h time so time to fatten up again xD

SOOOOOOO many things have happened at my working place.. firstly, there is this damn irritating china guy who is godly noisy and horny..he kept making those sexual noises EVERYDAY and i got like so damn pissed with him.. fancy a 22 year-old guy acting like that.. one of the full-timer's phone had loads of porno videos and pics in it.. he showed a little bit to the china guy and the china guy kept bugging for it EVERYDAY! today, the full-timer finally gave him 3 video's via bluetooth.. guess what?? he went to the toilet immediately to watch and masturbate.. ZZZzzomg.. another part timer also knew about this pornos and brought a laptop to the work place early morning when there was no one as we start work at around 6.45am.. he took the memory card and transfered ALL the pornos into his comp!!! i was beside him and i asked him to highlight all.. he did and i saw "107 files selected".. LOL!! thats ALOT!! now for the best part, he accidently pressed "Enter".. 107 porno vids opened!! haha..i kept laughing non-stop.. but luckily he muted the comp.. if not i wonder how it would sound like.. then the full-timer ask me got english songs in my comp or not and i say got.. he passed me the memory card for me to upload the songs into it.. and i now had 107 porno vids in my possession xD La la la.. whether i took them out and saved them into my comp or watched them or not remains a secret.. haha.. =P then there was this full-timer who frequently visits prostitutes at geylang.. everyday, sure will talk about sex and stuff in the BBQ room.. heard he say got $20+ to $1o0+.. then he say sometimes they got those illegal VCD sellers and he got a few porno vcds at home.. i didn't believe until one morning, he took out 6 vcds and passed to one of the part-timers.. he sold it for $10!!! 6 pornos for $10!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT!! SO CHEAP!?!?!?! lol.. that's when i believe XD then he say CNY period prostitutes become more expensive too.. from $40 to $50.. haha.. then we also had bakkwa bbqing competitions.. i lost to a part-timer by 6 pieces.. we were the best 2 among all part-timers =D i can make 10kg worth of bakkwa in 40mins O.o thats uber fast.. Oh, and we also rated the girls working in BCH.. well, those young ones only.. and all of them put zi yee as first choice -.-"" only i put her as 2nd.. =x not telling who i put as first =p but there was this girl who they like to make fun.. cos she rarely smiles and her face seems quite fierce..she rarely talks also.. however, when she smiles, i must say she looks kinda cute.. then they keep saying it's like they owe her $10000 or she got menses.. always not smiling de.. so they keep trying to talk to her and make her smile XD today she smiled more.. YAY!!

Anyway, off i go to korea~~ once again, going to a distant place to forget the memories and forget some things in my heart.. things which can never be forgotten just by time.. will buy back some stuff for people im close with.. =D heard that the temperature is -6 degrees now and snowing.. i never seen falling snow in my entire life.. this might be my first time.. YAY!! and happy birthday to me!! going to celebrate my birthday in korea.. this would be my best bday gift.. ^^

PS:Gone for a week

D3@ThM@5T3R off to Korea

2008-02-02T00:08:00.000-08:00

Once upon time, i think i fell in love again.. you are what makes me look forward to going to work.. you are my motivation.. you gave me strength when i was weak.. because of you, i never feel tired anymore.. so many memories of you keep flowing into my head.. it's getting harder and harder to shake it off..i hate this feeling, but i cant avoid it.. i once wondered when my working days will finally come to an end and kept counting day by day, now i don't want it to stop.. perhaps i might not talk to you for i do not want this feelings to grow.. it's just infatuation and i know it will go away once my contract is over.. 5 more days.. will i long to see you once again? or can i put all these memories behind me and move on.. when im working, i keep telling myself, "soon,i can get back to my normal life".. it's very tiring, really.. i wanted to return to my normal life so badly, i once wanted to quit halfway.. but as i thought about it longer, i then realised, this is my normal life.. to go through all these feelings and emotions, these are what makes me stronger.. my only wish for now is to let you go.. after all, two opposite worlds can never merge right?

PS: To you, im probably just a passing memory.................... and im contented that you knew i exist..

D3@ThM@5T3R living day by day

2008-01-23T22:28:00.000-08:00

My parents were talking about their friend, who's wife passed away, and he has cancer now.. he has 2 children, aged 9 and 11.. and they are so poor that they can't go to school.. sigh~ the thought of it really makes one want to cry.. and that friend has a very kind heart.. always helping others out, always thinking about others before him.. but now ghe has not much time left, and he has loads of worries on his mind.. i heard my dad say when he visited the wake of the wife, he saw the 2 children running around and playing, not knowing whats going on.. so they have decided to donate some money to their family to help out.. and then i felt this strage feeling.. i think about my past.. and i must say im a very lucky person.. my family is quite well-off.. and whatever i want, i can get =/ maybe it's time i appreciate what i got, before it's all gone one day..

As i was thinking back, i thought about granny.. when granny passed away, i was the only member of the family not present.. because i had an econs project which was due the next day, and i didn't want to drag the other of my teammates down.. i miss you granny.. =( and im sorry..

Today at work, just found out that one of the part-timers there got a nice voice!! =O im not being pervertic or anything.. but really quite nice le!! i was bbqing there and suddenly she came in to swap the tray for me and when she talk, i was like.. ZOMG?!?! *faints* but got the a bit of the china china accent.. hmmm, if any of you wanna see her, come to bedok BCH from now till 6th feb, LIMITED TIME ONLY! xD

Officially no longer a DOTA player.. yup, i have officially quitted dota.. suddenly lost interest in it, but i think my skill still remains =p so if need any help for draft matches, feel free to ask me and i'll gie it a thought..

PS: Those were the fun times, goodbye to my favourite dota heroes..

D3@ThM@5T3R A.K.A The Purple RK

2008-01-20T20:34:00.000-08:00

And so i met Pea after work today.. haha.. kinda fun la cos tease here tease there and just chit chat.. but now im super tired.. lucky tomorrow is my off day.. and it's my LAST off day!! before i work for 13 days straight for around 16hours per day.. yes.. im gonna earn alot!! .. but im not working for myself.. most of the money wont be available for spending i guess.. im working for..... never mind =x anyway, today marks the officially half of my working in BCH!! yup! 17 days have passed, 17 days to go =P yeah,im counting day by day.. soon it will come to an end, and i will have enough to enjoy for 2months before going to NS.. WhEeEe~~

My life meant nothing to me, then a girl like you came along.. Everything is moving so fast, i got to get my feet on the ground.. Unhappy days are over cos i can always be with you.. Lying in your arms day by day, makes me feel so brand new..

Can't stop falling in love, tell me you will be true.. I just can't stop thinking about you, everyday-- every way.. Give me your heart and soul, stay with me this time, and we'll make history--you and me..

PS: Trying to change blog song but stoopid tpjc.net not working for meh -.-"

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-01-18T22:52:00.000-08:00

And............. im officially.................. a level 91 DK!!!! YEAH!!! Finally level up -.-"" ok..i think thats the end of the path of a Dragon Knight.. poof! now to play a dumb lil assassin.. but im sooo tempted to try for 4th job =/ kinda cool to have the new skills and stuff.. bleah.. no time anyway

Today work for 6 hours.. super tiring.. but thats ok i guess.. the problem is SUPER SIAN!! especially the CNY songs i hear until can memorize them -.-" but bear with it!! ONLY 19 MORE DAYS!! 19 days till last day of work.. 19 days to korea!! yeah i can wait.. =D *self motivates*

Recently received a call.. someone very unexpected called me.. and asked me for a favour... half of me wants to help, the other just keeps saying no.. how how how?!?! ArGhhh... i hate decisions =/ when i get the call again then i'll decide what to do i guess..

Going to meet a Pea this sunday.. Cos Pea ordered some Ba Kwa.. haha.. oh yeah, if want buy can buy from me, i can get 10% discount ^^ not much but al least it's still something =p hope after work i wont be too tired to meet Pea ba =/

Been playing mahjonh alot with my parents.. and FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I ZA HU!!! zomg.. just lose $24 for nothing T_T but fun to play ba.. just that when play will sleep super late.. soon going to become panda le O.O

Tired D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-01-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

N-O Way.. Impossible.. Seriously.. Fate or coincidence??? or a mixture of both?? Things really did change.. omg omg omg.. was it a promise i made? or was it fate? it cant be.. it's so.. unexpected.. but i think i'll keep my promise.. =/ if i do not, you know what to do *sigh*

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-01-09T14:37:00.000-08:00

Sigh~ why do things have to turn out this way? why are you toying with me? we both know what happens in the end, but is this the only way out?? i guess that is one of my weakness.. and i cant control it.. will things change if i promise u it wont happen? but it's close to impossible i guess.. maybe its for the good of everyone.. i know u have a greater plan, i just hope it turns out as expected..

Somewhere in between all the talks, laughter, sadness, joy, quarrels, anger and hatred, i fell in love..

I need your love in every way, and I feel this everyday, cause I have too many tears, to fall in love again.. Life can be hard so many times, how can i just live it fine? Now im trying to smile, and fall in love again.....

PS: How can i look in your eyes, when i feel i could die, i have to runaway.. im sorry....

D3@ThM@5T3R

2008-01-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

So they broke up O.0 and they patch.. and they broke up, and patch, and broke up, and now patching in progress.. zomg? played dota until 3am 2 days ago.. all inhouse games.. first match was 5v5 and me and bob were opposite team cos of SP.. my team won.. zzz.. i was using rhasta and was like the supporting and sacrificial dog -.-"" bleah.. sad life but must sacrifice for the team.. 2nd match was 4v4.. me and bob same team but.. HE WANTED TO LANE WITH FEON!!! Can't believe it.. i lane with him for 4 years+ and now he lanes with his feon! -.-"" been long since i solo lane also.. so try try la.. not bad.. still can control lane but in the end lost T_T you must lane with me slut to win!!! Rawr~ then next game bob went off with feon to play with public so we had another 4v4.. probably one of the best games in a long time.. whole game we were 3v4 and we keep letting our sniper farm while we 3 keep defending.. until sniper farm till super fat, we counter and won O.o

It's getting dangerous I guess it's all because, the way you make my life turn upside down. I thought your love was real, my heart will never heal, you're a devil with a heart of steel. If you could understand, I wanted you so bad, I'd sacrifice my life because of you, and now I'm on my own, I'm feeling so alone, there's a demon living inside of you...

PS:It hů®ts to b®εathε bε©aůsε I know εvε®y b®εath I takε p®ovεs I ©an livε withoůt yoů ..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-12-28T23:23:00.000-08:00

ok.. i can't stand this anymore.. WHATS WRONG WITH THIS FREAKING WORLD?!?!?!?! *faints* It's like all my close friends are experiencing weird things happening to them.. even i have had my own strange encounter.. ok lets start off one by one.. firstly, Jh got his handphone pick-pocketted at orchard.. lykzomg?!?! just poof, and his hp went missing so he has to buy a new one.. what is the probability of getting ur hp stunned by some1 without you knowing?!?! ok, then now its about my pri school best friend.. well, she has an online guy dating her.. some1 which she met in gunbound.. can't believe it but she and that guy nearly got together!! ZZzz.. that guy is 20 years old and they have NEVER met, only known each other online and the guy asks her if they can be together and she nearly agreed.. *faints again* this christmas he even went to her house at 12midnight to give her a present.. of course, they didn't meet and he just put the present in front of her house.. cant believe it.. online guy wants to date her but doesn't want to meet her.. O.o ok, now lets move on to the next person.. ZOMGLA BOB!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT STILL!! d0o0d is so gonna be god damn angry with you, he is gonna kick u in ur butt, he will ks every kill of yours in dota and he will hate u for life, nuff said.. i mean, sigh~ you know he loves her, why did you agree to it?? i know feon is pretty but... that doesn't mean u can ks ma.. seriously, there wont be any happiness in this relationship.. and the most important part is, YOU HAVENT EVEN MET HER AND U AGREED TO BE WITH HER!?!?!? i told you many times things wont work out.. judging by personalities and age gap, she is older then you by 5 years!! not that it's impossible but it's highly unlikely that things will turn out fine.. i know it's your first time trying and falling in love but bear in mind, although the first relationship might seem like the best, it may not necessarily be.. so.. just be prepared to let it go should the time come and don't hang onto it.. i've been through that and i understand.. should you be broken hearted, least i could do is go out and eat with you and dota till u feel better.. hope things turn out fine i guess and please, make sure u understand her well enough and at least MEET HER!! xD don't be just mesmerized by looks.. though i got to admit, she is kinda pretty O.o ok.. now it's my turn.. ARGHhhhhhhhhh!!! THIS IS GONNA BE THE FIRST AND LAST TIME I GIVE MY NUMBER TO A STRANGER!!! but the experience was kinda weird.. lol.. whats with the world meeting up with strangers anyway o.0 still cant understand..

YAY!! Earned $32 from mahjong session!! This sunday jasper,vic and rain coming again!! W00T.. very bored.. 1 more week till work so better enjoy myself as much as i can.. mahjong=fun!!!

PS: I finally believe..

D3@ThM@5T3R going crazy with the world

2007-12-26T21:45:00.000-08:00

Went to sign the job contract today.. even though BCH didn't call me, just went down since zi was going to sign the contract too anyway.. YAY!! they let me sign it too.. phew~ job officially starts on 4th Jan.. Kinda broke now considering i lost a total of $115 from mahjong =/ tomorrow jasper and friends coming to play again so hope can win back some =D

Also went to a old place today.. told myself i would never return there but i still did.. sigh~ but it does bring back memories i guess.. both good and bad.. but it was nice to bring home some memories too.. at least i know things are going fine for you =) May you stay happy always =D Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to you!! *huggles*

PS: No longer the owner of the half-heart necklace.......

D3@ThM@5T3R just thinking...

2007-12-11T12:41:00.000-08:00

Been playing comp whole day so no time to post.. But now that got chance, i must say this job is SUPER tiring.. just 3 hours of standing there giving out newspapers is enough to make ur arm ache.. must move the papers from one spot to another then carry it for 3 hours and give out.. zzz.. but 2nd day of job was fun!! So much laughter.. and the best part is, work for only 1h and we get to claim 3h work of pay!! YAY!! then something happened.. something very........ interesting!! haha.. and JH saw it!! GOOD! u can be my witness.. muahahaaa.. fun working day overall!! 2 more days to go.. and im getting paid!! oh, and 7 more days till the return of BOB!

PS: why? whats the point of living when the only girl i ever loved is gone.. you guys have no idea how this feels.. It's like, you always hear songs about a broken heart, and you think it's just a figure of speech, but it's true.. my chest hurts.. it feels like, sinking feeling where my heart is.. it's broken..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-12-08T00:19:00.000-08:00

Went out with my ex VS classmates today!! sadly, only got 5 of us but it still turned out to be very fun!! First we met at roxy but benjamin somehow said he was at katong shopping centre so 4 of us had to walk there to meet him.. HEY!! why not he one person walk here?? make 4 of us walk.. lol.. then we played pool until 7+.. whoa, we were playing pool and ding some "magic" witgh cards.. =D i performed one trick and benjamin wanted to learn it so badly because his farewell chalet with his class was coming and it could impress the girls.. furthermore, this trick had physical contact between both the performer and audience!! LOL.. he was like "pls pls pls?? my farewell party coming leh" xDso fine, in the end i taught him the trick.. and Tie Fu taught us all a VERY IMPRESSIVE trick.. not easy to figure out.. hmm.. and i must say Nabil is very intelligent.. he managed to think out part of the tricks we perform.. =O then after playing pool we went to katong laksa to eat.. initially i didn't want to eat there cos my throat is still sore.. but hey!! how often do i get to go out with them so we just ate there.. after that we decided to watch a movie at Princess cos it was only $7 on weekends!! on the bus, we just chatted abotu old times and some Dota stuff =p Then we went to mac while waiting for the movie to start and guess what?!?! WE PLAYED ONE ROUND OF BRIDGE AT MAC!! xD The cinema at Princess was very budget!! They used an OHP to show the "in case of emergency", "please turn off ur hp" signs.. then during the show, can hear people phones ring and yawning away!! i was coughing =/ still not fully recovered i guess.. then when the movie ended, they turned off the lights and the sounds to save electricity BEFORE the credits where shown finish.. haha.. my friends went to take a peek at the next door cinema and they saw alot of blood and stuff on the screen.. the movie was probably "30 days of night".. oh, and we watched "The Golden Compass".. quite nice le the movie.. ended at 11.10pm and reached home around 11.50pm.. then when i reached home, realised i forget to turn off my msn!! Not only didn't get to say "FAST HI!!", in fact, i didn't even get to say hi to the mushmom =( Oh well.. fast hi next time i guess.. still coughing now.. gonna take my medicine now.. Tmr got to work.. found a job of giving out newspapers.. just to pass my time i guess.. gd night all =)

D3@ThM@5T3R coughing..

2007-12-07T21:37:00.000-08:00

My dota partner went into NS yesterday.. Sigh~ kinda sad.. it was fun all these while i must admit.. ever since he left, i didn't play a single round of dota yet.. on the day before he was going to NS, we went out on an eating frenzy!! First we went to stone grill to eat.. then we went to astons! haha.. the food very nice in both places!!

Recieved a phone call today!! IT WAS BOB!!! he called from tekong!!! O.O Chatted with him for a while.. and i asked ALOT of questions.. quite ok so far i guess, since it's mostly lectures and lectures.. Arghhhhhh!! Soon it's my turn =/ Bob coming out on the 19th! dude lets dota~ ^^

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-12-05T00:24:00.000-08:00

YAY!! mom agreed to give me $20 for mopping the whole house today!! But SUPER TIRING!! arms aching after that so i took a nice shower.. 36h till bob goes into NS!! hmmm.. probably going out to have lunch with him tmr.. SEE!! im such a nice friend ^^

Stoobid cough and fwever shtill havent subsided yet.. ARgghhh!! cough cough~~ sigh~ throat hurts.. hope i can get well soon.. feeling very horrible =/

mom came back late once again..left house at around 9+ for dinner.. had a nice dinner!! so the waiting was worth it i guess =P

2007-12-02T19:29:00.000-08:00

Sigh~ Lost a dota match 5v5 draft... =/ Then after the match, caught fever and sore throat.. still suffering from fever and sore throat today.. doesn't seem to be getting better.. drank some bitter drink my mom bought.. hope i'll be better tomorrow..

4 more days till im without a dota partner.. oh well.. when the time comes then i shall decide on what i will do ba.. had a series of weird dreams lately.. unique, weird but... interesting.. there was one dream which made me wonder until now... who are you anyway? hope to bump into the person i dreamt of =)

Have you ever noticed? that im not acting like i used to do before.. Have u ever wondered, why i always keep on coming back for more? What have you done to me? I'll never be the same, i tell you for sure....

PS: Hopefully things will come to an end some day~

D3@ThM@5T3R Dreaming...

2007-11-21T00:47:00.000-08:00

This is my 100th post.. Wow.. Had a very great time today!! Probably one of my best in JC life.. But it was a mixture of both happiness and sadness i guess.. Last paper of A levels!! Im officially free!! YES!!! Freedom WITHOUT guilt!! Waiting for Liezel after school today as we were going out for lunch together.. We went to eat at Swensens and i bumped into my Sec school friends who were from VJC.. Whoa.. quite embarassing but luckily they never tease or whatsoever, just said hi thats all.. then, guess who i saw?? MDM AZLINDA!!! Arghhhhh!!! TOO coincidential!! So i said "hi Mdm Azlinda" and she said "You're exams are over already right??" haha.. maybe cos i was alone with liezel and she wanted me to focus on my studies first thats why asked if the A's were over or not =X Then before she left, she said "HaVe FuN~~" And she gave the cheeky smile and wave.. haha.. After that we walked around parkway to buy a present for her cousin, cos she was going overseas the next day.. sigh~~ So fast.. just as the A's are over, only could go out once before she is gone for like 1month of so =/ Gonna miss her lots i guess.. no more fast hi in msn, no more mushmom's calling the hotline.. glad that we could go out just before she left.. and i even got the chance to send her home.. =x probably the first and last time i can ever do so.. anyway, i really enjoyed myself today =) Hope you have a safe and pleasant journey and most of all, enjoy ur trip..

PS: Take Care~~~~~~ =(

D3@ThM@5T3R waves goodbye..

2007-11-14T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today econs was very horrible.. seriously.. sigh~~ Just hope can pass.. Hopes are all on my H2 subjects.. 2 more days of exam and all MCQ.. so quite relaxed now i guess.. but i'm still thinking alot.. oh well.. as my mom told my bro, "if it was fated, it will happen".. =) *hugs fate* Hope u bring me to higher grounds.. and save me from this plight asap =x

Any1 out there can help me get songs?? I got a few songs which i want sooo badly!!! Cant find the downloads in google and cant even find them in youtube to extract..

Songs are : Back To Life (Original Verson) / Artist: Prezioso Feat. Marvin,
My First Love ( DIY edit remix) or ( DIY extended remix ) / Artist : Grenada
Fantasy (Original Version) / Artist: M.O.R.K

Searching high and low for these songs but cant find =/

Really wonder what my hopes are.. or maybe where i stand.. *pokes fate* Sometimes i wish u would show me a glimmer of hope.. but i trust what u are doing is right i guess.. so i'll just let nature take its course ba~ Very soon.. things will all come to an end.. im not expecting anything to happen.. Just want you to know....................................................... i exist.. =)

D3@ThM@5T3R <('.'<)

2007-11-12T00:53:00.000-08:00

Bro broke up with his gf today.. heard my mom and him talking this morning then when i brushed finish my teeth, mom called me into my bro's room to tell me the news.. not very sure what had happened cos things were fine yesterday as we had dinner with her, but i heard my bro saying that she used emotional blackmail and my mom found her very irresponsible.. don't know whats going on..

Still wondering if whether you are treating me like how i treat you.. im always sharing things with you, yet you seem to be keeping so many things from me.. slowly, im losing my faith.. im losing my trust.. should i tell you how i feel? or should i just keep it to myself? i found a bunch of friends who can cheer me up.. but sigh~ how long can they last.. just glad to have some company i guess..

PS:This time I won't give up, you'll never break my heart, I've only one request... Don't touch my memories..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-11-10T00:10:00.000-08:00

Something happened today.. Well.. something unexpected.. BUT HEY!! Thanks!! =D haha.. glad you still remembered about the hotline =x kinda looking forward till the end of A levels.. Freedom at least and can finally play my comp without feeling guilty.. Gonna miss a friend like you when ur gone.. the hotline is going to be so dead.. but hey, hope u will call me once u return.. at least thats when i know when i can stay up late and wait for calls cos it's supposed to be 24/7 =x spent the 3 holidays playing and playing.. never touched anything at all.. picked up econs, read a bit and nothing went inside my head at all.. sigh~ next week is the make or break week.. major subjects.. All the best to those out there.. 5 more official school days.. it's hard to believe that we are all 18 years old now and JC life is over.. Perhaps it's time for us to experience more to life besides studying!! =D going to celebrate my birthday in Korea next year.. flight is already booked.. hmmm.. i realised that when im going overseas to a faraway place, it usually helps me to forget.. The last time i went to Japan for 1 week, came back and started all over.. =D hmm.. hope i dont have to bring any troubles or worries to leave behind in korea.. Current goal in life is for me to be contented.. thats all!! Cos as long as one is contented, one will stay happy right? Yeah!! To all u other bloggers out there, find goals in ur life too.. it gives u some motivation i guess =)

PS1: HAppy Birthday Zi!!! Hope u like the surprise of a door visit.. though Jw said u looked kinda sleepy =/ haha~

PS2: Thanks for calling Piggy Hotline!! *Oink* =x

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-11-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

Feel so weird lately.. just hope exams are over and done with.. Maths and GP officially over.. during Maths paper 2, i remember one question which made me nearly break down.. kept thinking until i had a headache.. but finally managed to get the answer =D After exams, whats the first thing i'll do? hmm.. i dont know also.. it's like the end of jc life.. and poof, there's freedom to do anything.. been wanting to go to the beach.. maybe i'll go there for a walk or something.. just dont feel like staying home =/

PS: Just hoping to find some answers some day......

Tired D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-10-31T23:34:00.000-07:00

So someone asks u a question, and u are supposed to answer.. if you answer the truth, that person will be unhappy and sulk or ignore you.. and if u tell a white lie and say what that person wants to hear, eventually when they find out it's a lie, they get mad at you.. so here's the dilema.. what will you do when someone asks u a question?? Seriously dunno what to believe now..

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-10-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

I really dont know what to believe any longer...

D3@ThM@5T3R

2007-10-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry..

D3@ThM@5T3R